Written by Louis Nguyen | Friday November 22, 2024
I look forward to Thanksgiving every year – the cozy fall vibes, the cuisine, the agency to feast – what’s there not to love? It’s an excuse to gather with your community. It’s also a way for folks who can’t go home to not feel so lonely during this family-centric season. As an international student whose home is a literal ocean away, I’ve experienced many Friendsgivings and I love it. It’s an excuse to get a bunch of people you love together in one room, and to eat a hefty amount of food while doing so! I will use my years of expertise to impart some tips for a successful celebration to you. As Friendsgiving is truly a community project, I hope you put your reading glasses on and take notes!!
For Hosts
If you’re hosting a Friendsgiving, I hope you have Virgo or Capricorn somewhere on your chart because you need to plan. The fundamental checklist items include nailing down a date, figuring out the food situation, and compiling a sensible list of attendees whose individual vibe would mesh harmoniously for an intimate four hours. But an eye for details is what sets your Friendsgiving apart from your regular Sunday night dinner party: from tablecloth and squash arrangement, to music, you NEED the right ambiance. I’ve once driven three hours circling different Target locations to hunt down the perfect gravy boat. This is NOT the time to be wishy-washy.
For Attendees
This anti-wishy-washy sentiment also applies to attendees. Friendsgiving is quite possibly the worst day of the year to be non-committal, second perhaps only to birthdays, weddings, and funerals (debatable because I can’t hold a grudge if I’m dead – or can I?). It is also NOT the day to do the LA thing where you say yes to a bunch of different Friendsgivings and try to make all of them in one night, spending an hour at each. A decisive “No” is much appreciated. “Yes, but…” is an ouchie. “Maybe” is gut-wrenching. This is the day when you commit graciously to one whole evening of friendship, pack a plate, or two, … or three, rest and chit-chat for forty-five minutes, and then get three more slices of pie (ice cream optional). We end the night with a cheesy movie and/or a bunch of music videos. Everybody takes home a box of leftovers. No negotiations.
For Deliciousness
For it to be considered a successful Friendsgiving in my books, you need the classics. This include a bird (turkey, rotisserie chicken, fried chicken, Peking duck, tofurkey all counts), gravy (any variation), stuffing (absolute essential & I will not hear otherwise), cranberry sauce (the cheapest one in the tin can), and MULTIPLE pies. The rest – mac & cheese, various potato dishes, casseroles, ham, cornbread, fancy cranberry sauce, etc. – can appear in any combination. The more the merrier.
But sometimes, there are surprise hits – deviled eggs, quirky salads, cultural dishes. While we need to be mindful of them so as to not overpower the headliners listed in the paragraph above, their presence is crucial. This is because they embody the beauty of Friendsgiving: different people from different backgrounds coming together to share their version of the same tradition.
This spirit extends to the dessert selection. Having at least two pies is legally required: one fallcore (pumpkin, sweet potato, or pecan), and one fruit. After the two pies, we can run wild! My chè bắp last year was a huge hit. The year before, I made tiramisu which was definitely a crowd pleaser. My friend brought egg tarts to this year’s Friendsgiving (I had one already, early I know… got two more planned), which was universally devoured.
I claim authority on the subject of Friendsgiving, not out of credentials and qualifications. After all, I’m not even from here. But I claim Friendsgiving out of a passion for wholesome chosen-family-friendly fun. It’s perhaps the one occasion out of the year when I put my immigration anxieties aside and wholeheartedly participate in something so … American. I say “perhaps” because sometimes I feel quirky and find myself at a county fair. But I digress; best of luck to all your Friendsgivings this year!
P/s: I’m not the biggest on going around the circle and saying what we’re thankful for, to be honest. Friendsgivings, especially those that are on/close to the actual date, are less about a close friend group and more about who’s who of who’s not going home. So unless it’s a table of poets and/or casual oversharers, you’re gonna get one canned answer after another…