New School Year, New Me (Begrudgingly)

I need to hit the gym – but which one? A comparison of USC Gyms

Written by Louis Nguyen | October 7, 2024

An often overlooked part of adulting is being apathetic to the “New Year, New Me” industrial complex (applicable to calendar year – solar AND lunar, school year, and fiscal year). I’d critique it as just another iteration of the capitalist system that we’re a part of, and how year-to-year, we all subject ourselves to the ritual of aspirational self-betterment – an evil scheme set up by a slippery meritocracy that just reinforces the increasingly stringent, increasingly demoralizing, ideals of desirability in the Western World both physically and philosophically. I’d never let Big Resolutions™ get to me.

Scrolling through all the beach posts on my Instagram feed, I sigh: “I just wanna be hot… Lemme hit the gym.”

“But what does hot even mean? Hot to whom? Is LA rotting my brain?” My mind races as I Google “USC Gym Hours.” I just want to feel good about myself. It’s set in stone: I’m paying THE GYM a visit.

I walk into The Village Fitness Center, which is generally open 8 AM – 11 PM on weekdays and 11 AM – 11 PM on weekends. I’ve done my research on Reddit, and public opinion deems this the friendliest environment for beginners. Streets are commending the larger number of cardio options and the more central location. I really can jog for half an hour and maybe fiddle a dumbbell for another fifteen minutes, feel accomplished, and go get myself a treat at Trader Joe’s! I can sense a unified sense of motivation exuding from the crowd of treadmill strutters and lively lifters.

However, after a few sessions, I’ve also developed my gripes… The more limited number of weights and machines mean that there’s a longer wait for anything I’d want to do. And the constantly thumping music drowns out even your Airpods, and thus, the ambiance underscoring your workout is at the mercy of the Village gym resident DJ. Some days it’s Troye Sivan Euro Dance Non-Stop Megamix. Some days it’s Warehouse Techno with an occasional ironic Lily Allen DnB Flip. Some days it’s EDC. Some days – Taylor Swift. I seek to take control of my work out, and the sonic vibe is an integral part of it. I need other options!

So I venture out to the “advanced” gym – Lyon Fitness Center, which is generally open 6 AM – 11:30 PM on weekdays and 9 AM – 10 PM on weekends. Well, “advanced” is defined loosely. It is bigger (two stories with multiple free weight areas!), has more of every machine and weight, more barbells, and more adjustable racks for all your squatting and pressing needs. There are also cardio machines, but definitely fewer than the Village. Ironically though, there are usually more empty cardio machines here. Perhaps the cardio culture over there was what prompted Redditors to deem it (rather unfairly) the more “beginners” gym. I’m pleased to discover that the music at Lyon is at a comfortable volume: enough to drown out the grunting, but I can still be the vibe curator with my Airpods on. 

It definitely requires a trek to get there (unless you’re an SCA student then you’re basically neighbors with Mr. Lyon). You walk in and immediately notice a different, more “advanced,” ambiance. It definitely feels less new and shiny here than the Village gym, and the people dilly-dally less. There’s a subtle sense of “Lemme bring my friends… We can spot each other and maybe chit-chat here and there to undercut the homoeroticism…” at the Village. Here: in and out, business ONLY! The hours reflect this. Lyon generally opens earlier and closes later than the Village, but it also depends on what’s going on on campus at the time, so always check @uscrecsports on Instagram to stay up to date! 

The locker rooms are also a great point of comparison. The Village is definitely cleaner, and the lighting is definitely more flattering. The showers are more private, and each stall is more spacious. However, because it’s smaller, there are fewer day-use lockers, so during busy hours, it might be hard to find somewhere to store my stuff. I might invest in a locker subscription when I’m fully committed to this fitness lifestyle though! 

Lyon’s locker rooms are lit like a 90s teen movie – fluorescent with a side of grime. It is a lot more spacious with plenty of empty lockers always, and there are open showers with private stalls on the side, but the doors are floppy and only covers above your calf. However, a big perk of Lyon is the access to the pool! 

The crowd is definitely not better at one gym versus another, even as everybody’s resolution has run its course. So strategy is sorely needed. I’ve noticed that odd hours early afternoons and late nights consistently afford a shy beginner like myself the most peace and quiet. The rush hour before and after work or class is real and traumatic… But if I can get up, early mornings on the weekends can make me feel like an early bird victoriously drowning in worms.

But remember: you can’t look good without feeling good, and part of feeling good is taking care of your health! Feeling snatched is one thing, but I need to physically not get sick as well. And that means wiping down all equipment with the alcohol wipes widely available at all the gyms before and after I use them. That also means bringing your own water bottle. And that also means investing in a good lock for the locker, because I’d definitely feel sick to your stomach should my stuff get stolen. Happy working out!

P/S: I’ve tried going to the HSC gym because I’ve heard there’s no crowd… But parking sucks + limited hours (that’s not consistently updated online) = me driving there three separate times and still have not successfully paid it a visit. Maybe someone else can chime in on this front…